Hope:: Dealing with Disappointment Part 3

Do you know who I’m disappointed with the most? Myself.

No matter how much grace I give other people, I’m the one person who has no wiggle room.

Are you familiar with that in your own life?

I’m one of those people who sees others fail and brush it off like it’s nothing. My internal self says, “Man, I wish I had that attitude! I wish I could brush it off!” But I can’t. I don’t.

Even this week. I’m home sick. There’s nothing I can do about that. And yet, my internal self is beating me up, telling me how horrible of a human I am and how I’m letting everyone down because I let myself get sick.

Yes, as if I control every tiny germ that may come into contact with me. Right. Because that makes sense. Not.

But that’s the internal battle that happens with me. Constantly.

I didn’t get my blog post out in time? Brittany, you’re failing people.

I didn’t skip the coffee with cream? Brittany, you’re never going to be who you want to be if you can’t even skip one simple thing.

I indulged in the extra slice of cake? Brittany, you say you want to lose weight, but look at you! Pitiful.

Any of this sound familiar with your own self?

Disappointment.

Judging.

Self-Condemnation.

All of these are things that we shouldn’t deal with, and yet many of us have a bad habit of focusing on them.

So what can we do?

Similar to dealing with our disappointment of other people and situations.

First, accept that we’re disappointed. Then focus on WHY we’re disappointed in ourselves.

It’s difficult, believe me.

For me, I pause where I am. I had a counselor once tell me that when I have thoughts like, “I’m a failure,” to pause the thoughts and change it to, “I feel like I’m failing.”

You wouldn’t believe how much that simple instruction helped change my internal monologue. I shifted it from a negative and absolute statement to an “I feel” statement. Once I changed that, I could be a little more lenient with myself. Once I ‘felt’ rather that ‘was’, I could address the feeling and figure out WHY I felt the feeling and what could bring me away from that feeling.

Give it a try!

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