It’s never easy to lose a loved one. No matter how much time you have to “prepare” or if it’s sudden, losing a loved one is difficult.
I’m definitely not the expert on the grief cycle of losing someone – or even something – you love. I can, however, give some tips from my own experiences.
First, everyone grieves in their own ways. There’s a “cycle”, yes, but the “cycle” is more of a cyclical and revolving process. Some days you’re doing good, some days it feels like you go right back to the very beginning. That doesn’t mean you’re actually starting the process again; it just means you’re in the cycle.
Second, feeling numb is normal. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It doesn’t mean you’re unfeeling. Sometimes our minds protect us momentarily by numbing us. We don’t want to stay in that numb place long-term, but it’s not wrong to feel it short-term.
Third, you may react to one loss in one way and then very differently to a completely separate loss. Again, this doesn’t mean anything in particular, it just means you’re human.
I lost my Dad back in December. I’m still working through the grief process with his loss. The only thing that keeps me from staying in the “depression” portion of the cycle is the fact that I know I’ll see him again someday.
This past Thursday, his mom and my Grandma passed away. She’s one of those people you felt would be around forever. You knew she had health issues, but she was a staple for the family.
Losing Grandma just 10 months after losing Dad was a blow I’m still reeling from. I fluctuate from feeling empty and numb inside to feeling completely devastated and falling apart.
What others have said to me is, “It’s completely natural.” I needed to hear that from people, and I felt you might need to hear the same thing.
Grandma is another who I know I will get to see again someday, but it’s still hard to know I’ve said, “Goodbye,” for the time being.
Listen, you do grief your way. Can you seek guidance? Absolutely! You don’t have to go through this life alone. You especially don’t have to go through grief alone.
Sometimes we’ll process alone, but sometimes we’ll have people join us and walk with us through that process.
Losing a loved one is difficult. One of the most difficult things we’ll go through. But I promise you, if you take it one step at a time – even if some of those steps seem to go backwards – you will make it to… maybe not the other side… but definitely into a brighter tomorrow.