Hello, beautiful readers! Thank you for your patience as I get through the extremely busy portion of the semester!
Looking around at life, it can sometimes be difficult to find the light. When you get rejections left and right, when your current relationship status doesn’t match what society deems “normal”, when you feel trapped in a season… no matter what’s going on, you can feel lost… forgotten… alone…
But just because you feel that way doesn’t mean that it’s true.
I’ve felt that way plenty of times. Even in the recent past.
It can be so difficult to look outside of your current circumstances and see that there’s good in life too. Or good coming around the corner.
As many of you know, I’m in grad school and I’m living in Boston. Boston is not a cheap place to live. Because of that, I’m working at a local retail store.
Now, if you’ve ever worked retail, you know it’s an extrovert’s playground but an introvert’s nightmare. Yeah, I’m an introvert. An outgoing introvert, but an introvert nonetheless.
The saving grace for me is that I have a fun team with whom I work. We joke around and support each other in everything we do.
A few weeks ago, I got to go out to California and visit some of my friends. While there, I put together a new website for a project I’ve wanted to do for a while: copy editing! Something I love to do for which I can get paid!
I get back home, join an online freelance group, apply for freelance gigs. Crickets.
All the excitement makes it super difficult to go back to the retail job, but I must make money! And the crickets for my copy editing business makes it more difficult to function in hope.
I had a good conversation with a very dear friend of mine today who reminded me: these things take time. It’s very rare that someone in this field is instantly successful, and an editor is even less likely to gain instant success.
But I tell you: the disappointment has been real!
Even with the disappointment, I’m still able to look forward with hope. I still work with some great people. I still have friends.
Each time something bad or negative happens in life, it can seem to darken every instance of joy and good until all we can see is the black speck of bad.
In those moments, after I’ve wallowed in self-pity for a bit, I’m reminded of several parts of the Bible:
- “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
- “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” Genesis 50:20
Now, you might not be familiar with those Bible verses, especially the second one. In the portion of Genesis above, there was a young man named Joseph who had a bit of favorite child syndrome and many jealous older brothers; not a good mix. They sold him into slavery and took his bloodied cloak back to their father. Joseph was hauled away to Egypt where he served a family, was accused of attempted-rape, and sent to prison. Eventually he rose in rank to assist Pharaoh during a famine. His brothers showed up seeking food. Because of the evil that had been done to him, Joseph was in a place of power where he could bless his brothers.
When I’m reminded of those two verses above, I realize that just because I can’t see past the bad in my life right this moment, God can. And He’s working for my future.
So on those darkest days, I can sit back and realize that there are brighter days coming and I just need to trust the goodness of God.
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