Happy Wednesday, dear readers!
I’ve talked a lot about the negative emotions and parts of life on here, but I don’t always talk about when things are going well, so I apologize. I figured I’d take a moment to do that here.
It’s so easy when things are going poorly to lose sight of the good. I know from experience that the positive disappears in an instant when anything negative happens.
That’s why it’s really important to celebrate the wins when they happen, no matter how big or small they may seem.
You don’t have to do anything huge to celebrate your wins.
The first thing you should do is have someone trusted you can call or message to share the news with. I call my mom when I have a win, and then I message my brothers and my church community group. This would typically be the same circle you turn to when you need prayer or help.
If you share in the Christian faith, the Bible tells us to “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). This goes back to what I’ve said multiple times before: humans were not meant to live life in isolation. We are supposed to live in community. We can’t expect people to carry our weight for us, but we should be able to expect our community to celebrate and mourn with us.
Anyway, next, you should have some way to reward yourself when you have wins. This is an area where I really fail. I tend to not reward myself. Ever. I have rewards lined up for the really big things (graduating with my master’s—getting a manicure; getting a book deal—getting a massage), but I don’t really reward anything else.
For instance, this past week, I got signed on with a third publishing house as a freelance copy editor and a proofreader. I was so excited! And I couldn’t wait to share with my circle, but I didn’t reward myself. And now, as I write this post, I’m realizing I need to go to the coffee shop this week and get a real coffee, not just one from my machine at home.
A caramel macchiato isn’t a huge deal, but it’s a reward for a win. It’s something out of the ordinary, something I don’t typically get for myself anymore, and that makes it special.
My counselor told me I should start rewarding myself for the small things, and I agreed, but I didn’t think anything more of it after our session ended. That was three weeks ago. But now that this week’s post came up, I’m realizing he was right.
Finally, something several people have mentioned to me over the past few weeks: write down your wins, both past and present. If you’re having trouble finding the positive in your life right now, remembering your past wins will help you find the happiness today. And writing down your present wins will help you look back on this moment from the future.
It’s okay to celebrate your wins. You don’t need to pretend the good doesn’t happen to keep others from feeling bad about their own circumstances. The caveat here is: don’t become arrogant or braggy—that might cause contention—but anything else will just give your circle cause to celebrate alongside you. And you walk beside your circle to rejoice and mourn with them as well.
Life doesn’t have to be doom and silence. Celebrate the wins. Reward yourself when good things happen. Write them down as reminders for the future when you feel like you’re in a dry spell again.
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