Oof. You know, just a handful of weeks ago, I wrote a post about being cautiously optimistic and not diving into things head first. I thought I had a better hold on myself (finally) and was approaching life in a different way.
Well, this week’s setback proved to me that I am just as committed to hoping for the best (and not preparing for the worst) as always. (Insert nervous laughter here.)
Though, honestly, I can’t say that this week has been all bad. First, you’ll remember that I did get the proofreading job right after writing last week’s post. It was for a super fun Christian fiction book that’s coming out next year. I’m looking forward to sharing more when the time comes!
I also got news first thing Monday morning that the class I got waitlisted for back in May is now a class I am enrolled in for real! It’s a seminar on novel writing. For some, that may sound boring, but to me? It sounds like heaven!
But the real kick in the teeth came when I got an email—also Monday—telling me, “It was very lovely to meet you and we do not take for granted the effort and time you took for this position. We have made our decision and unfortunately, we have offered the position to someone else.” Honestly, when I saw the email flash across my phone screen with the words, “Hello Brittany, I want to start off by thanking you . . .” my stomach dropped and I knew it was going to be bad news. I didn’t want to open the email at that point. And then I had to start letting people know I didn’t get the job. I had to thank people for praying, but let them know that this job—again—wasn’t the job for me.
One of my friends—actually, one of my soon-to-be roommates—asked me, “How are you feeling?” And my honest, no-holds-barred response was “Like a loser.” She asked if I wanted to talk about it. Her kindness brought me to tears. We didn’t talk then, but we did talk on Tuesday. However, she did send me a text: I just need you to know that you’re not a loser. Just an incredible and beautiful woman of God who is awaiting her next adventure. My mom made sure I knew that she was here, no matter what. If I needed support, she’d take care of me.
My brother told me they were crazy for not hiring me, but then gave me a couple of suggestions for different places I could apply, including libraries. Honestly, I never considered libraries because everywhere else, you need a degree in library science. But here in Boston, the library system is large enough that they have positions that don’t require any sort of degree at all, much less a library science degree. So I applied.
I very easily could have sat here moping for the rest of the night. The rest of the week. (Despite the fact I have to be out of my current apartment by next Wednesday.)
I could have forgotten that two very positive things happened before that news came through. I could have forgotten that I have other obligations. I could have ignored the needs of the others in my church and stopped praying for them because I felt forgotten or ignored by God.
And that’s when a dear friend of mine sent me Psalm 33:18–22. I cried. Again. But this time it was with a sense of renewed hope. It was with the remembrance that I am never forgotten or ignored.
And so, I shake off the dust of the “no” and step into another “maybe.” And I implore you to do the same. No, I don’t know your circumstances. I don’t know what you’ve been through. I don’t know what’s been done to you or by you, but I do know that tomorrow is another day.
And so I leave you today with the words my friend shared with me. They were timely for me, and I have a feeling someone else needs to hear them now just as much.
18 But the Lord watches over those who fear him,
those who rely on his unfailing love.
19 He rescues them from death
and keeps them alive in times of famine.20 We put our hope in the Lord.
He is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord,
for our hope is in you alone.Psalm 22:18–22, NLT
Brittany Stonestreet 