I don’t know about you, but I am the person who NEVER asks for help. Or for a straight answer when I fear the truth.
What I’ve come to realize recently is that it’s pure foolishness to not ask.
9 times out of 10, someone is willing to help you out. You may not want to take advantage of anyone’s kindness (my go-to reason – read that: EXCUSE – to not ask for help) or take up someone’s time. You may fear that everyone will feel obligated to say yes. I can tell you from experience: if someone doesn’t want to help you, they’ll have a ready excuse. Our friends WANT to help us! They typically don’t want to step on our toes, so they’ll wait for us to ask.
If you’re like me, your excuse is that you don’t want to be a bother or take advantage of a friend’s kindness. What I’ve learned over the past couple of years is that it’s actually pride that’s keeping me from asking for help. I don’t want to look like I don’t have it all together. And I definitely don’t have it all together!
Now. When it comes to not asking for a straight answer… If you know me, then you know I have a VERY active imagination. And let me tell you: I almost always imagine the worst case scenario FIRST. In high school, my question was, “Does he like me?!” Rather than asking, I imagined asking a guy. And my imagination had him laughing in my face and saying, “Of course not!” Yeah. That’s a real confidence booster!
Recently, I was told about the best person for writing recommendation letters at my work. I was terrified to ask. I could imagine a billion different scenarios. My anxiety was super high. Then, I shoved all of that down and asked. And guess what? He was more than willing to write a recommendation letter for me!
We tend to build these things up in our minds to the point where anxiety keeps us from even trying. We may not always get the answer we want, but a solid answer is better for us mentally and emotionally than constantly wondering. At least you know where you stand. And knowing helps you move on no matter which direction things go.
I could go on and on with different things you can ask for or ask or whatever. But instead, all I’m going to say is this:
If you have a question, need help, or need a straight answer, just ask. Don’t let pride or fear hold you back.
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