Hope :: Dealing With Difficult People/Situations

Goober and Kota – friends who sometimes get on each other’s nerves

We’ve talked before about the people who just rub us the wrong way on a whole. What about those who are family and/or friends who can be extremely difficult sometimes? They’re people we care deeply for, but when they’re difficult we just wish they would go away. We don’t want to deal with it.

My cat, Kota, loves to play! My parents’ cat Goober definitely does not… As you can see in the video above, Kota is like the annoying sibling who says, “I’m not touching you! I’m not touching you!” right before punching you. Yeah. That’s my cat. Though they don’t hurt each other, poor Goober has to deal with a difficult peer…

If you’re a teen or have ever been a teen, I’m sure there were times when your parents were the difficult ones that you didn’t want to deal with. If you’re a parent, then I’m sure there have been many moments when you’ve not wanted to deal with your child(ren)!

This doesn’t mean you don’t love them! You can love someone and be highly irritated with them at the same time. Just as a relationship with God doesn’t mean your life will be perfect, caring for friends and family doesn’t mean you’ll never get on each other’s nerves!

Thinking that way is just plain silly.

So what can you do when someone you care about is being difficult? I have a few suggestions. I’m not saying that these things will definitely work for you or in your specific situation. But these are some ideas to hopefully help you make it through these difficult things we call relationships!

  • Excuse yourself from the conversation
    • Don’t just walk away! If tensions are high, turning and walking away without a word is just going to make matters worse.
    • Explain yourself
      • My mom and I were in a very heated discussion one day and I just wanted to scream. I stopped and held up my hands and said, “I’m sorry. I’m very angry and I just need some space for a little bit.” This gave us both a chance to cool down.
    • Come back ready to converse calmly
  • Reflect
    • If you have one specific friend or relative who you seem to always knock heads with or who you are always getting angry at:
      • Write down the things that set off your temper
      • Ask yourself why those things bother you
      • Write down ways you can avoid these specific things
        • I can’t stand politics. Even less do I enjoy talking politics with my mom. We see things very differently and we tend to have very strong disagreements. It is a very rare occasion that I engage with her about politics because I’ve found it just causes issues. And it’s okay to not talk about every single thing. Usually I share my opinions when Mom and I share the same stand, haha!
  • Consider that the difficult person may actually be you…
    • This is the most difficult thing to do! We like to think that we do everything we can to be our best selves, but if we never take a look at ourselves and truly understand ourselves, there’s a very good chance that we’re the ones who are being difficult when it comes to relationships.

Relationships are hard. Relationships take work. Constantly fighting helps no one. The next time you’re dealing with a difficult situation, person, or conversation – take a step back from the immediate moment and breathe.

To add to the story above of Kota and Goober, Goober’s largest way of dealing with his difficult friend Kota is to run away. Kota follows her until she jumps up on the couch by my mom. Kota either leaves her along then or my mom protects Goober from my cat. It’s not a perfect system, but it works.

If you have suggestions, please add them in the comments!

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