You know, it’s been more than a year and a half since I moved to Boston, more than three years since my dad died and since I left my steady ministry job in California. My nephew is about to turn four! It’s been almost eight years since I resigned from my teaching position and almost eleven since I graduated undergrad.
Many negatives have happened through the years, but a lot of positives have happened too.
The lesson I’ve learned above all others over the past almost thirty-three years is that time stops for nothing. There may be moments where it seems like time might freeze for a moment, but when you come back to yourself, you realize that it was only you who froze.
Sometimes it can be a gift that the world keeps turning. It allows you to realize that an ending of something for you (a relationship or job) isn’t the end of the world.
Sometimes, though, you wish the world would stop moving with you, because you’re not ready to move on yet, but the world isn’t waiting for you.
What I’ve learned, and am still learning, is that while the world does keep moving, it’s okay if you need to pause sometimes. The great part about time continuing to march forward is that when you’re ready to step back in, life already has forward momentum.
I don’t like dealing with the hard emotions of life. I’d much rather stuff them down “where the sun don’t shine” and pretend they don’t exist. But that’s neither helpful nor healthy. If I were to, say, focus on my waves of grief as they come instead of suppressing it all the time, it would take a bit of my time, but I’d feel better in the long run.
In those moments where I need to deal with the waves, I have to pause, but I can join life again right where I left off. Whereas, when I suppress it all and pretend it doesn’t exist, when it all comes out at once, it derails my entire life for a period of time and it’s hard to get back on track after the maelstrom of emotion.
You may be wondering where this is all coming from, and that’s a fair question. See, my dad passed away a little over three years ago. I’ve written about it here several times, but until this past January, I had never actually dealt with it. I’ve been working with a therapist and we’ve been working through grief. I thought I’d share some of my observances and lessons with you since they’ve helped me a ton.
So, no, the world isn’t going to come to a grinding halt just because you do. But that’s where having a community comes in handy.
When you feel like the world is leaving you behind, you can reach out to your friends and family and let them know that you’re struggling. You can share what’s going on and more often than not, someone has either been where we are or—at the very least—someone understands and will come into the pit with you and sit with you for a while.
As always, if you don’t have anyone in your life that you feel comfortable reaching out to, you can always send me a message and know that I’ll pray for you. You may not believe in the power of prayer, and that’s okay. I do. You can go to the “contact me” page and send a message requesting prayer or you can email me directly at brittany.d.stonestreet@gmail.com.
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Brittany Stonestreet 