Hope :: Finding Your Passion

Sorry, I forgot to attach the audio!

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over all others throughout my life to this point, it’s that we all have a purpose in life, and it usually lives in the very center of our souls. It’s our passion; what drives us from within.

And I’m not talking shallow, human passions here. Not desire, not addiction, not curiosity.

I’m talking about true passion.

Honestly, until you start seeking it, you may not even know what it is. It’s not something, from my experience, that’s at the forefront. Yes, it manifests itself in your life. But that doesn’t mean it’ll be obvious to you.

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I started writing when I was a little girl. Mostly, honestly, really dumb stories. I did it for fun and never thought much of it. It was something I did on the side.

In high school, my focus was singing and acting. I participated in the singing competitions. I was the lead or supporting lead in all three of the musicals I was a part of. I decided to follow music for a career because it was a passion.

I finished writing the first draft of my first book my freshman year of college, where I was majoring in music education. I started writing my second book junior year.

I graduated and became a music teacher, still chasing the passion of singing. I joined a worship team to give myself something to enjoy since I realized teaching wasn’t my true passion. After three years, I quit teaching to pursue the music passion in a different way: worshiping. I sunk into a depression when no one hired me and wrote to bring myself through the funk. I finished books 2, 3, and 4 during that period.

I volunteered on a church worship team and eventually got hired as the church secretary. This led to getting hired as a worship leader at a church across the country. I followed that passion and ended up in CA.

I continued to write, rewriting the first book I ever wrote. I shared books 2 and 3 with a member of the church—one who has now become a dear friend—and she encouraged me to pursue publishing, after a rewrite of these books of course. I also wrote book 5.

While leading worship at the church, I became disillusioned. I struggled with wanting to sing. It didn’t feel like a passion anymore. It felt like a chore.

I felt called to move home after 2 years. I did. And then my dad died. For several weeks, I didn’t want to do anything at all. I couldn’t even convince myself to open up my laptop because it wasn’t fair of me to move on without him.

Then I realized: he’d have been really disappointed that I gave up writing just because he wasn’t here to see the stories anymore. A fire was lit. I wrote book 6.

As I was working a job I hated with people I liked, I started realizing that music had never been a true passion. It was a hobby, it was worship, but it wasn’t the core of who I am at the center of my life. It was never what truly gave me purpose. It was always writing.

Of course, editing was also there, but it doesn’t make for as compelling of a story as the writing, because I always did the editing for others because I enjoyed it and was good at it. I didn’t pursue it; it always tended to just be handed over.

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So what was the point of all of that?

Search your soul.

If you believe in God, pray to Him. He’s the One who gave you the passion and purpose in the first place. He’s not going to withhold that information from you.

We are all complex human beings. The world has fed us “passions” that try to shove our purpose from our minds. It’s easier to focus on the surface level than to dig deep.

I’m not saying I regret chasing the music. It taught me a lot and gave me several deep friendships I wouldn’t have gained otherwise.

Eventually, if you start looking at the big picture rather than the right now, you’ll start to see what drives you from the center of your soul. Pay attention. Dig deep. Cut out the stuff that’s distracting you from winning at life, and pursue your purpose.

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