Anyone who knows me on a personal level knows that I’m the last person who’s willing to ask for help. It’s one of the things I dislike about my personality, but it’s something I’m working on.
I’m sure there are plenty of us out here who are like that. And we do it for various reasons.
- I do it better myself.
- No one steps up to help when I ask.
- No one steps up when I tell them I’m doing something. (This isn’t asking for help, by the way…)
- I stopped asking for help a long time ago.
I’m not going to list everything. You get the idea.
Though this isn’t the case for every single reason, I’ve learned for myself that pride is at the center of every excuse I give for not asking.
I despise asking for help. When others tell me they’re working on a big project, I automatically volunteer my hands, even if I have no idea what I’m doing. I expect others, especially that person, to do the same when I’m the one in need.
However, most people don’t have “Acts of Service” as their outgoing love language. Many people want to help out, but don’t want to step on toes, so they wait to be asked.
Anyway, back to my other point. Pride.
Too often, pride is at the center of why I don’t ask for help. I don’t like thinking about that or admitting it. There’s that pride again…
I figure because I volunteer to help out, others should too, and when they don’t, I’m too proud to then ask outright for help. And then I become resentful. Then the next time I’m doing something and need help, I don’t even bother mentioning that I’m doing something because I don’t get the help I need anyway.
See, bitter and horrible cycle.
If I were to swallow my pride and actually ask, I’d find that many people are just waiting for the words.
It goes beyond that, though.
As I’ve talked about here before, I also struggle with depression. Something I haven’t really talked about before is that I also struggle with daily headaches and regular migraines.
It took a while for me to get insurance that was right for me and for the right doctors who are willing to listen. A few years ago in California, I talked to my doctors, but the neurologist didn’t listen and I ended up feeling worse and we never truly got anywhere.
Now, three years later, I’m looking forward to an MRI, I’m on medications that are slowly addressing the issues rather than acting as bandaids to cover up the problems, and I’m slowly on the mend.
All because I was willing to ask for help. Finally.
Don’t let pride get in your way. No matter what part of life you need help with, even if you COULD do it better yourself, how can others learn to do better unless you teach them?
Ask for help. Learn from my mistakes.
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Brittany Stonestreet 